Written by Jaffa Forbes
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 19 August 2007

Am I the only one outraged at Shreddies latest advertising display?

Here is an angry letter I'm drafting towards them.

Dear Shreddies, or should I call you Nestle?

I have recently observed your flagrant attempt at advertising your product to the younger generation using the device of so called 'Nanas'. Apparently - so your advert claims - these old ladies are responsible for the making of million upon millions of small cereal squares which you brand as 'Shreddies'.

Apart from the sheer impractically of this, there are a few other points I would like to make clear to the cotton-wool brains of your management.

Firstly, I for one am concerned about Health and Safety. Fair enough, I admire your stance on breaking conventional age discrimination in the workforce, but, surely it is unhygienic to have Granny's knitting my cereal? Your advert shows no gloves, hand wash, hairnets or other standard measures to avoid cross-contamination.
I am very concerned.

Secondly, I still feel you are desperately stereotyping old ladies (anybody, you claim, over the age of 50) as consistently liking to knit, have tweedy hair, wear several thousand shawls and have names that always end in 'y' like 'Dotty' and 'Peggy'.

Thirdly - are you aware you are breaking sex discrimination laws? Where are the Granddads?

Fourthly, at most importantly, I am afraid of the myths that you are brain-washing our young children into. They will grow up thinking their cereal is made by grannies with knitting needles, instead of the sheer truth that most produce is made by mass production and machinery.

What next? Santa Claus making Frosties? Elves working in the Weetabix Mine? Fairies magically producing Fairy Liquid?

Whilst I admire your cereal, I'm afraid I could easily shut your factories down in order to liberate those thousands of grannies you have unfairly used and branded.

Please regard this as an angry letter.

Jaffa Forbes.

(Angry)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

101 readers are online right now!

Go to top