I read with interest your feature about my daring raid on my own home, to steal what was rightly mine. I would like to thank you about not revealing the whereabouts of the diamonds I stole from the bank.
Through your assistance, I found them in my safe with the photo's of me with Mrs Thatcher, Jimmie Krankie, and Napolean Bonaparte. Oh, we had fun that night…..
Anyway, they are at my house, with the safe number of 9999. I will be out between the times of 9.00 and 23.00 everyday. Please, once again take my heartfelt thanks……..
Councillor Bert Alexander Nesbitt Krobber
P.S. I would like to apologise whole heartedly for putting my own ego above everything else. I fully understand the bad feelings I aroused with the Million Pound statue that was erected in my honour. I now know that that money should have gone to the hospital fund.