USA TWODAYS - This article begins special coverage we were afforded by Captain Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. We were beamed up prior to the beaming up of Presidential candidate Ron Paul, so that we might record the interection for USA TWODAYS.
Captains log Stardate 1.0008322. We are circling the planet earth where there appears to be much violence, particularly young Hollywood women involved in hit and run accidents with alcohol. There also appears to be a strange form of Democracy occuring in the place known as the United States. We are beaming up one of its participants, who appears to be somewhat different from the others.
Ron Paul is lead onto the bridge by two security guards, he is wearing a towel and appears to have just stepped out of a shower. Kirk spins in his chair and stands to greet him, "Ahhh Mr. Paul, please excuse the abruptness of our beaming you up, we'll of course get you some clothes, but first some questions. What exactly IS a Republican?"
"Well," said Paul, "I'm not exactly sure myself, you see I'm really what they call a Librarian...I mean Libertarian."
Kirk looks at Spock, "Spock?" Spock takes a tricorder and analyzes Ron Paul, "He would appear to be correct Captain, he is part of a third Party, a...fringe party if you will, one that sort of as you human's say, "makes fun" of the other parties."
"I see," said Captain Kirk, "So your a "trouble maker" Mr. Paul?"
"Welll..some people might see it that way I suppose," said Paul, "Captain if I may ask, what's this all about? I have things to do. I was on my way to meet my running mate Michael Jackson, when you snatched me from my shower."
"I see," said Kirk looking thoughtfully at Mr. Paul, "Yes we know how important it is for you earthlings to mate. Ensign, we have no more questions for Mr. Paul, see that he gets back to his appropriate location on earth."
Ron Paul was beamed back to earth, but was accidentally transported to Hillary Clinton's bathroom, where Bill Clinton was reading a newspaper. The Enterprise will continue its study of earth for the next few days.