Written by Just Never You Mind

Print this

Saturday, 6 March 2004

Hey! Like I was finally getting to where I could visit a synagogue in the first place and remembering not to where a crucifix in the second place. I mean, like, this was a big step forward for me. Some Jewish folks could even visit Mass; that was really something. Then, all of a sudden, in between genuflects and communion, Mel Gibson gets a message from the Holy Ghost and before you know it, it’s 1930. I found myself without the secret birth control stash and ten kids. All of a sudden the laity consisted of men and boys and women scrubbing the steps leading to the cathedral doors. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jesus, but I can’t help but wonder if this time warp is going to last me all eternity with the Big Guy saying, “Excuse, but I don’t care that you’re crying ‘Lord, Lord.’ I wanted you to be a bit of a nicer person.” I got so agitated that I went to a shrink and got some prescriptions. There’s nothing like a little Thorazine to calm religious fervor. In my delirium I had a vision and the Holy Ghost was riding me high. If Andrew on 60 Minutes got a message from the Almighty, you should have heard what He said to me.

“Check the history of your name . . . and give up pork.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!


53 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience on our website, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more