Written by Plumber

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Wednesday, 25 July 2007

It's regrettable that Pratibha Patil become India's President, and was preferred over Booby Darling. Here are the reasons why I thought Booby Darling would have been a much better choice:

1) Puppet

Heshe is a well-established actor; having ably played a slew of roles from hero to heroine to their sidekick to transvestite. His ability to do precisely what hisher director asked himher to do, can even put consummate stooges like Ambika Soni and Mani Shankar Aiyar to shame. Also, she has had a taste of working with Congress Parivar: Heshe has worked with Ritesh Deshmukh-son of Vilasrao Deshmukh- in the movie Kya Kool Hai Hum. Pratibha Patil might have shown intense and unwavering loyalty towards Nehru-Gandhi parivar, but potential-wise Booby showed more promise than her.

2) HeShe belongs to a minority community:

Pratibha Patil belongs to women community- one of the minorities in this country. Whereas Booby belongs to a community, which not only is the smallest minority in India, but also ostracized and neglected by fascist forces such as BJP and Sangh Parivar. The community I am talking about is none other "transsexuals". As a progressive,forward-looking country, we need to give adequate representation to them. Please bear in mind, the dwindling figures of this community. From, 0.056% of population of India last year, it has seen a massive drop of 7.14% and now reads 0.052%.

3) Satisfying diverse constituencies

We've witnessed a lot of hullabaloo over Pratibha Patil's origin, and how her name and lineage can appeal to constituencies of all hues-including Bal Thackeray's Shiv Sena- the self appointed torch-bearer of Maratha Pride. However, the same can be said for Booby. Booby Darling is an alias. His/her actual name is Pankaj Sharma. A detailed report by Sunday Trash of Islamabad (TOI) shows that heshe has an experience of working in Europe, and could have easily appealed to the biggest political constituency of India- politicians who exhibit traces of Colonial Hangover. What's more interesting is that, these days, the transsexual movement is quite an in-thing in the West.

4) Heshe has profoundly diplomatic opinions on critical national issues

Pratibha Patil when asked what her views on Ayodhya issue were, she gave a not-so-diplomatic reply of: "The people who have a blind faith in a particular religion cannot provide proper guidance to the people of our country."

In contrast, have a look at what Booby had to say when asked for hisher views on Ayodhya: "Dil ek Mandir hai. Dil ek Masjid hain. Dil main mandir masjid banao"

Only a few have the courage to tread such a middle-path, and maintain such equanimity. The other example of Booby's equanimity is that she wears both bra and boxers. Indeed, heshe could have been a sane voice of detached-reason that India needed in such divisive and communally-charged times.

5) Heshe's a lightweight

She's a lightweight; no way will her political stature overshadow our Honorable PM Manmohan Singh's or more importantly the President of Kongress Smt Sonia Gandhi's stature. Booby weighs just 50 kgs, a whole 5 kgs. less than Pratibha Patil.

6) Heshe has been a National-Level Hard Ball champion

Forget mediocre sports such as Cricket/Football or even Table Tennis-where Pratibha Patil has won a state-level tournament when she was in school. Consider the game Hard-Ball in Bollywood, where Booby is a national-level champ. Even though none is sure of what it means, it's indeed an achievement that speaks volumes about what is heshe capable of. Moreover, heshe's so humble that when hesshe was asked about who would heshe give credit to for this unknown yet incredible achievement, remarked with a wry smile: "Thanks to Subash Ghai, the ball started rolling in Bollywood."

I will conclude by reiterating it: It's very regrettable that Pratibha Patil was chosen over and above Booby Darling for the post of Indian President! Pshaw!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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