HOLLYWOOD (Calf.) -- Last night I was on my way to interview Angelina Jolie and was passing the new sheik Pink Taco eatery when I spotted Andy Dick, in what appeared to be a latex condom costume. I was about to shout Dick a question when he gave the six-or-so paparazzi the finger and galloped into the eatery.
Other less Hollywood notables also were entering, and the paparazzi pack were small because of the Johnny Depp rumor over on Robertson. All of a sudden we heard a car door slam behind us and turned around to confront a naked Megan Fox coming towards us. As she came through us I was almost blinded by paparazzi flash and fill lights as I blurted out -- "Nice tattoos."
"Thanks," she replied, "I'm going to a private party." "Nude?" I croaked. "Yes, it's a buck naked party."
Obviously, everyone else could wait until they were inside the Pink Taco, but not Megan, who looked voluptuous in the warm night air, bathed in street neon and constant flashes. Who would dare publish these photos? The paparazzi work for respectable women's magazines.
Then Megan turned and walked towards the eatery and I have to say, that's the nicest bum I think I've seen. I was unable to read the tattoo though, because I didn't have my reading glasses on.
Having now forgotten where I was to meet Angelina Jolie, and it being late, I abandoned my original quest. I hope Angelina will forgive me.