Written by fatdave
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Saturday, 6 March 2004

It was recently suggested in another forum that male serial sex attackers should be castrated. This gave rise to a great backlash of " That's going back to the middle ages!" dissent.
One poster enquired as to what, under these terms should happen to serial car thieves. Reference to a musty, dusty tome in the far reaches of my bookshelves allowed me to enlighten him thus:

posted 01-03-04 23:32
FROM THE GRIMOIRE OF FATTE DAVE:

Let he that stealeth the wain of another have the handes cloven from his armes with a hook of sharpeste iron. The stumpes of the armes to be dypped into warméd slurrie and titely bounde in parchementes rent from ye daily sporte. The handes also to be boiled and rendered cleane in warméd slurrie, titely bounde in an baseballe cappe bearinge the image of the Daemon Nike which hath been passéd three tymes around the boundes of Basyldonne. The parcelle to be tamped firmly into the fundament of the daemon posessed theife and he to be caste into a pytte until he repenteth and votethe outte ye Blaire and his legionne of scoundreles!

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