Written by Lance.D.Boyle
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Sunday, 29 February 2004

AUSTRALIA
The small farming town of Glouster in New South Wales is swarming with reporters and newshounds , Intelligensia and geologists not to mention hundreds of tourists.
Even though the town is experiencing a financial boom,the locals are deeply divided.

The reason for all the hooo-ha is a miracle in itself.

It appears that at approximately 2am on Thursday morning ,campers in the forest above the town experienced what they first thought was an earthquake measuring about 8.6 on the richter scale.
Fearing for their lives most ran towards their vehicles to escape but as quickly as the rumbling, shaking earth had begun.... it stopped and all was quiet.

By morning the campers were on their way back to town ,however blocking their escape in the centre of the dirt road that winds up into this mountainous region, stood a monolith of ...pornographic proportion.

Now believe me in my travels as the 'down under' reporter I have witnessed quite a few inexplicable occurrences,but this took the cake!

Without the accompanying photograph I would not be able to write this arcticle,I would be branded a charleton,a liar,imposter ,fool and all rightly so, by most normal standards.

But I digress back to the story.

The "HARD ROCK" as it has been called by geologists and locals alike, stands some 8 metres high,and has a girth of approximately 9 metres.

'Aye but heres the rub.'
According to geologists its a natural phenomenon ,the earths natural response to a nearby deep chasm aptly named 'Maries gorge" a huge crevice some 50 metres deep and surrounded by short ,dense,impenetrable scrub.

However the locals disagree,and though I could find no-one who wanted to be identified ,(in fear of being labelled a crackpot), I did find plenty who agreed on an alternative answer for the monolithic mongrel.

Apparently two days before the earth shook, two bus loads of elderly tourists were on a walking tour of that exact area,seventy men and women aged 75 and over ,were set apon by a group of modern day bushrangers.
The devious criminals after stealing jewellry and cash from their hapless quarry and in a final act of degredation, forced the men of the group to hand over all of their Viagra.
They then squashed the piles of potency pill into the soft fertile earth while taunting their flaccid victims.

That evening worst thunderstorms in 15 years ravaged the area soaking the ground with 50mm(2")of rain,and with it over 1400 Viagra tablets.

There are two sides to this story,both equally compelling and equally improbable,it's a tale ,a myth,a legend,but one thing readers it's real.

Being merely the humble messenger, I will take neither side.

Readers,I leave that in your capable and inquisitive hands .

Remember you read it here at 'The Spoof' first.
Signing off from Down Under
yours truly
Lance.D.Boyle.
Australia

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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