Written by Lance.D.Boyle
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Saturday, 28 February 2004

AUSTRALIA
Scientists from the Australian Sports Institute,revealed today that they believe the problem of violence in ball sports can be solved.
Speaking frankly from the Institute,
Dr Dram.O.Scotch ,head sports psychologist claims there are a number of factors why there is violence in sporting codes such as,rugby ,soccer, N.F.L.,hockey etc,and says he has data to prove that this behaviour can be curtailed.
"I believe and I have data to prove this theory,that if the participants of these sports had a height restriction of no more than one metre,not weigh more than 12 kilos,and are hand picked from the ranks of Hare Krishnas and Amish bible study groups ,the rough play would be eliminated.
Further to this ,if each player were to be given their own ball/puck ,instead of having up to 30 men/women chasing one ball/puck each would be satisfied with the one given to them at the beginning of the match"

Dr Scotch is now concentrating on a theory that if the spectators were placed behind sound proof screens so as not to overly excite the players this too could be an added bonus.
Lance.D.Boyle
Australia

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