Written by jaideephitashi
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Saturday, 30 June 2007

JK Rowling likes to surprise us, but this surprise may rupture your spinal chords (our terribly mundane readers may consult their dictionaries for this term). Get ready to get the air knocked out of your lungs by the seventh book in the Harry Potter series. Joanne gave a glimpse of the 7th book to our reporter and this is what he has reported.

Tom Riddle (Voldemort) was madly in love with none other than DOBBY, the house elf. That's the reason why Dobby was so happy when Voldemort was gone because he wasn't in the least interested in him.

When Voldemort announced his love for Dobby publicly the ministry and Dumbledore interfered and threatened Voldemort as according to them a wizard/witch could not marry a creature as disgraced as an house-elf. This had led Tom Riddle to indulge in dark arts as he wanted to destroy each and every person who stood between him and Dobby. His love for Dobby was and still remained insatiable.

In the last HP offering, Harry Potter has almost no role. Due to over eating of Pumpkin pasties in Bill's wedding he has an upset stomach and remains bed bound due to his illness throughout the book. We come to know that the Weasely's are bread eaters(not death eaters) the ardent followers of Madame Maxime who is trying to compete with Voldemort for darkest wizard spot.

However its the ending which will leave you stunned. Voldemort marries Hermione when he comes to know that she also loves and cares for house elves. This makes him change over a new leaf and he forgets Dobby and his obsession with dark arts and joins hands with Hermoine in running SPEW (Society for Promotion of Elfish Welfare).

Harry's illness gets cured and he feels it safe to reveal he's gay and marries Dudley (you can get married before 21 in wizards).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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