For release June 28, 2007
Both George Bush and Senator Carl Levin (D-IL) have agreed that executive pay has become too high in too many cases. Today, the two agreed on an innovative package to reform pay.
"The truth is that most CEOs of large companies do not really need to make 400 times the pay of an average worker to live at least as well as most of my donors do. But they do need to be paid as much or more than their peers. See, it's kinda like baseball. It's not the money, it's the measure," Bush said.
"That's right, George," Levin said. "So if the issue is not the money, but the ego gratification of being paid so much, then why not go directly to the ego gratification?"
"You bet, Carlie-boy," winked George. "And we can get that in a way that creates more jobs too. What we'd do is say that companies that pay their CEOs more than 100 times the pay of an average worker could only pay more if they used the extra money to hire people to sing the praises of the CEO."
"So they could be singers, dancers, architects, playwrights, poets, and artists writing plays, building monuments, singing songs of praise, and otherwise adulating the CEO," Levin noted.
"See, if we did this, we could abolish the National Endowment for the Arts, cuz' there would be lots of money for artsy types. And workers would really be motivated once they saw how great their CEO really is," bush beamed.
"You bet, George," Levin added, "and our kids would have all these great things to visit, just like we visit the palaces and museums built as tribute to the aristocracy of old."
Bush and Levin said they were confident of passage because, they both assured the press, their own adulators had already told them what a good idea this is.