Written by ChillerBaggins
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Wednesday, 27 June 2007

image for I Never Really Knew The Old Harry Potter "Hacker Deep Throat." - Potter Snitch

I never knew the old London, without it's giant ferris wheel, but I imagine it was lovely. But I wanted to tell you why I was here on assignment for TheSpoof.com, and that was to see my old friend Harry Potter.

The heroic and piercingly insightful ex-boy god had recently sent me an email to join him for a news story in London. But when I got here I found out he was dead. Harry was always playing around with his hog named Wart, so I didn't hold truth to this matter much.

He vanished a week ago. Not that disappearing without letting me know is unusual for him; he never lets me know anything he does. But this was the first time he's been gone that I've been accosted by a shadow in an underground carpark who gave me his name as "Hacker Deep Throat."

He handed over the following printed, dirty paper email to me and scampered away.. I read with no interest..

> ************************************************************
> * Harry Potter 0day
> *
> ************************************************************
>
> Dear my brothers,
>
> Voldemort killed Hermione. Yes, that's true. And we knew that 2 days ago.
>
> This is the end of the not yet published (someone could call that 0day) book
>
> Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows .
>
> At the end of the story Hagrid was killed by Snape in the attempt of ambush Hermione and Ron.
> Ron and Hermione flees in privet drive but Voldermort, surprising them, engaged a magical duel with Ron and Hermione.
>
> Voldemort attacked trough the imperius curse and Hermione, to protect the life of Ron fight hardly for more than 6 pages and then finally die.
> (boring, very boring... it's always the same story!)
>
> Then, to make a long story short, Harry came up, killed all the bad guys and Hogwarts against became a good place to stay and have fun.
>
> Ah, i missed one important information about Draco Malfoy, he started to create Horcrux (for fun and profit!).
> The end.
> ************************************************************

I am quite grateful that he has made his notes available for publication here. This is a refreshing and enlightening antidote to the usual discommode we get from non-Muslim academics who engage Potter.

Now, to find Harry, and get the Real story..

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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