Written by Deanna Goodson
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Tuesday, 24 February 2004

Did you know that 100% of divorces begin with marriage? That's insane. Perhaps, it is time that we, as a society, take a good, long, hard look at marriage.

Does it work? Should we do it? Perhaps getting a marriage license should be a little bit harder than say, getting a driver's license. It's not as if you aren't operating heavy machinery in a marriage, especially with the obesity rate climbing worldwide, but I digress.

Experts have often said that marriage is an institution. It is true. There is bad food, the need for medication and a lot of craziness involved. Sure, you get sex, but there is a definite decline in sex once you get married.

I am not some bitter woman who is not married. No, I am bitter because I am married. Yup! Marriage makes you bitter.

I say, nay to gays getting married. I say nay to heterosexuals getting married. I say nay to marriage. Just shack up. It's simple, straightforward and you can leave with all your stuff when you are done...yes, even your vast collection of Wham! records.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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