"Hey guys, so this weekend I jetted off to beautiful Portofino, Italy for My Dad's Big Fat Rocker Wedding. (Rod, you Dog, YOU.) We've been going there for years, so the place is filled with great memories.
"I got there a few days before the wedding so I could enjoy the great weather and spend time with my family. We rode around in a banana boat and went jet skiing on the Mediterranean, which was a lot of fun -- especially when my friend flew off the Jet Ski! I didn't notice he had fallen off and had to turn the Jet Ski around to pick up my drowning friend. Good thing he has a great sense of humor."
Well, thank you VERY MUCH, TMZ Staff -- you've made my night..
Oh, what the Hell -- I'll wish the bitch well. No, she sounds like a nice girl. Last time I saw her on TV, in a paparazzi special, she and Paris Hilton were sitting on and pushing with their feet, little motor bikes. Kimbo crashed hers on the street among the crowd. Hey, let's party girls!