District of Columbia - Full-time "Don Quixote" impersonator and part-time Massachusetts Representative Barney Frank delivered his future battle plans via messenger this weekend.
Frank's sidekick, Sancho Panza, arrived with what appears to be a busy summer schedule for the Congressman. Items on the docket include (in no particular order):
- Fix continental drift
- Rescue each gay Iraqi
- Make China more open
- Attack male-pattern baldness
- Assassinate Blackstone Group
- Naturalize everyone in waiting
- Upgrade Pluto from "dwarf planet" status
- Eliminate the US Postal Service's two-cent stamp
- Extend terrorism insurance to every man, woman and child
- Ticket all non-registered subatomic particles, especially quarks
...and that's just the first week.