The polar express: After years of speculation that Santa Claus might quit his job due to the rising heat, it has been confirmed that Santa is not the kind of guy that backs off.
In an exclusive interview with the big ol' guy, Santa gets candy...uhm...i mean candid and reveals his future plans.
Reporter: Mr. Claus, why didn't u gimme the rollerblades i wanted when i was 5 years old?
Santa: you were on the naughty list charlie, u were on the naughty list.
Reporter: you know my name santa? Wow! ok, lets proceed with the interview. Santa, is it true that you were thinking of quitting your job a few years back?
Santa: Yes sonny, that is indeed true. But, just then, i thought of the millions of hearts that would be broken and so i decided not to.
Reporter: Santa, can i call you Santa?...oh, ok. So, Santa, why were you thinking of quitting?
Santa: It was mainly because of the weather, its getting awfully hot nowadays. And with all my hair and thick cotton clothes, it wasn't getting any better. All the cheeses that i used to gift the mountain folk would also melt in the bag.
Reporter: what happened then...?
Santa: Somehow, Versace(popular designer) contacted me and informed me that he had a new outfit waiting for me. he said, "ohhh Santa, your outfit will look so hiip, so fabulous, you weil looove eet.". So, i went to his place. At first, i didn't like the dress so much. It's very small, a two piece swimsuit kind'a thing. But its a li'l bigger. I had to lose a few pounds to get into it and also had to shave my beard and long hair. I'm even sporting a new bandana instead of the cap. I feel much cooler now.
Reporter: So Santa, what are you planning on next? what gifts will you provide us with?
Santa: With proper funds from the World Bank, i hope to buy the nice kids a few A/Cs. Ofcourse with a little help from LG.
Reporter: Santa, i've been a good boy throughout the year. will i get an A/C too, please pretty please with sugar on the top?
-the kickbutt morons.