Written by Princess Poole
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Thursday, 7 June 2007

It's time to set the record straight, today's artists are not crazy, they are simply misunderstood. The public just cannot be expected to understand today's art without years of art education, drugs, hanging out with weirdos and intense therapy.

If you want to draw attention to a cause the best way to do it is to make the public think you're a lunatic so they can tell a funny story about the stupid thing you did. Take Marco Evaristti, for example, who wanted to emphasize the importance of Mother Nature. What better way to do it than to cover an iceberg with 790 gallons of red paint? If you see a red iceberg, you will really appreciate the natural beauty of an unpainted iceberg. (Another project of Evaristti was his liposuctioned human fat meatballs. The artist says it's not cannibalism if you eat art. Well now we know, we can eat any one we want as long as we decorate them first.)

Another misunderstood artist making news lately is Damien Hirst maker of the diamond-encrusted skull. The skull was bought at a pawnshop and used as a model for a platinum cast that was covered with 8,601 diamonds and one 52-carat diamond on the forehead. Hirst says he wouldn't mind if someone did the same to his skull after death, most of us would respond, "How about before death?" Obviously, the average person just is not equipped with the understanding and knowledge of art that would allow us to answer the question, "What the hell?"

Let's not leave out the vocal vegetarian, Mark McGown, who was paid to lie in the street and pretend to be a dead soldier. A vocal vegetarian McGown has protested the Monarchy by eating a swan and fox hunting by eating a corgi dog.

All of which brings me to this, The Princess is ready, willing and able to protest for any cause that requires me to play with spray paint, wear diamonds, take a nap and eat meat. After all it's all for a good cause and advances the understanding of modern art.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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