Written by Carlos G

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Sunday, 3 June 2007

image for The Irish Moon Landing

For the last thirtyfive years, a tape has been lying in the bottom drawer in a bedroom in a house in Cork, Ireland.

How it got there nobody knows. Where it came from...A mystery. What we can tell you history has yet again been glossed over by the colourful American media machine.

Although the tape has vanished into thin air since discovered,what remains is this vague transcript.Trust me or trust me not.Open your eyes to the truth...

Read on...

Houston: Story fien

Eagle: Story

Houston: Ya alrite

Eagle: Flyin' you?

Houston: Era struggling boy,struggling

Houston: C'mere Sham,I'm sure your geocentric orbit control is fucked up by 2 and a half degrees.

Eagle: Fuck off! You serious Sham.

Houston: I shit you not fien

Eagle: So reset my geocentre orbit control by how many degrees ?

Houston: No ya langer your geocenTRIC orbit control

Eagle: Alrite sham alrite...Who ate your cake,Cranky fuck

Houston: 2 and a half till you see the moon,you know that big white shiny thing.

Eagle: Cmere Houston boy have we got a fuckin problem?

Houston: A problem,A problem tell you what.... let you and the other two gowls with you meet me in mission control car park ...I'll give you a fuckin problem!

Eagle: Ok Houston,stall the ball now we can see the moon.It's fuckin huge.

Houston: Ok now we need to apply negative thrust to counter act the pull of the moons gravitational pull.

Eagle: Christ,Aldrin will you turn down the Bob Marley tape I can't hear the langer.

Houston: (sigh)

Eagle: Sorry Houston You want us to do what to what?

Houston: See the big red button just over your head.

Eagle: Ya.

Houston: Just press it when we tell you (thick cunt!

Eagle: I heard that langer.

Houston: Ok now.....

[Sound of high pressure air combined with happy roars and Bob Marleys Jammin' playing...]

Houston: Story.

Eagle: Sorted sham

Houston: STORY!!!

Eagle: This is one small step for a sham....... one sma

Houston: Your not supposed to say that until after you get out ya prick.

Eagle: Sorry Houston.....Two seconds..Oh yeah....

[Sounds of crumpling metal against earth.Bob Marley tape groans to a stop A hush and a moan radio crackles to life...]

Houston: Fien you all ok

Houston (worried): lads talk to me.Sorry for being a langer.

Eagle: Tranquility base, Tranquility base the Eagle has landed.

Houston: Thank fuck for that!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

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