Written by Cal Jennings
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Saturday, 26 May 2007

Hi there you all. This here is Billy Bob. My good friend Roy just made one o these here video thingys about that no good Commie Ron Paul. That there's fella with 2 first names whut's runnin' fer president. Anyway, this here Ron Paul guy, He's runnin' fer president, he said that them folks flew over and knocked over are bildings cuz we made 'em mad jus like ol' Roy explained.

Scuse me. How can that make any kinda' sense? Can somebudy 'splain that too me how that can make some kinds sense? That ol' Roy's a purty sharp fella. Roy an' I wuz watchin that thar president debate thang, an that ol' Commie pinko, Ron Paul wuz talkin' about how America, land that I love, mighta' dun sumpthin ta' make them peeple mad enuf ta fly inta are bildings and commit hairy kairy, then one o' them other president guys up there that sed you should take that back rite now.

What a good ol' boy he must be. The whole audience went crazy for it and started clappin' real loud. Roy wuz clappin', an' I wuz clappin' real loud too! (Thumbs under chest) Roy said, "I don't know how he could think that up right on the spot like that." I sed, "He wuz one real smart guy. He musta' had sum book learnin' or sumpthin'."

We know that them peeple fly inta' bildin's all the time fer no
particular reason. Those people just ain't right. Everybody knows fer a fact. Them folks is all crazy. They're Islamic fundamentalanists. You kain't listen to what they're sayin. How can ya lissen to why peeple attak ya'. They're Islamal facismacidets.

Roy an' I wuz talkin' about how they just live in caves. They act like they're makin' decisions for some kinda' reasons. I support whut mah buddy, Roy sed. They ain't got no mumbo jumbo logic like we duz. My hero Rush Limbaugh knows it. Hannity knows it. Are President George W. Bush. knows it. Ben Ferguson knows it. All o them other polimaticians knows it. Ya just don't just say that they got mad cause we wuz over thar. When ya say stuff like that yer IS a terrerist. Ol' Roy an' I think ya' gotta lock up folks like that.

Ya can't have people sayin' what they want to in America. It ain't patriotic. If ya' talk like that, yer a terrerist. IF ya say sumthing like that, whut wuz I talking about. Ya can't sympathize with them terrerists. It's dangerus and it's treason. Ron Paul arghta be locked up an' tortured. I'd be ok with that cause he did commit treason agin' are glorius cuntry. He suggested that are supreme leader, George W, did sumpthin wrong. We need ta tortur that guy bad. We arta tar an' feather the varmint. We gotta stand up for America.

One minit. I gotta take a hit frum mah crack pipe. (Swhooshp)

Ah, now whut wuz ah sayin? I'm sorry, but whut? Ya just can't listen ta people who are attackin ya. Ya gotta nuke 'em into the dirt. We shud hang 'em. Torture 'em and hang im fer commitin treazon. How cud someone say we wuz doin' sumpthin' over thar? We gotta stand up fer are American president whar at least ah know ah'm free. Ya gotta have a positive attitude about are cuntry are git tortured. We gotta round 'em up and have a program called re-ejucashun. We just gotta torture 'em until they understand how to support are president. Torture is good. Are president said so.

We can't have peeple goin around talkin' like that, bad about are president. Be a real American and torture someone. Show youre patriotic. Round a couple of 'em up yerself. We could have a regular lynch mob. We can make a party out of it. Ah'll bring thuh beer. Cuz ya know... I'm a reel good Americun and I have high score on Call of Duty 3 on PS3.

PS3 is where I git all o my ejumacashun. I don't watch news on TV or read the newspaper cuz that liberal media is always saying bad things about are president. I might werk 3 jobs ta support mah family, but George W. Bush says that's patriotic, an I'm DAMN sure patriotic. Anyways, I just want ta give my gud ol' pal Roy a shout out... howwwwwwwDEEEE... an congrajulate him on a job well dun. Grate video, Roy!

Here's part one:

And part two:

All this in response to Roy's video, here:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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