Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 13 May 2007

image for Top 10 Things You did not Know About King Herod: King Herod: The Man and The Power of Joseph Campbell's Myth.

10. Herod was the second shooter behind the grassy knoll.

9. Herod is only six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon.

8. Herod voted for Sanjaya.

7. 'Herod' is ancient Aramaic for: "Thanks for adopting my tribe and me - 'Now say hello to my little friend."

6. Herod actually kept Kosher, but only when his in-laws were visiting.

5. Herod did not put down Jewish rebellions for Rome. He fought terrorism by spreading democracy throughout the Middle East, introducing democratic reforms at the cutting edge of a sword, point of a spear and head of an arrow.

4. Herod did not pillage, plunder and raze the villages, towns and cities of his enemies contributing to the greenhouse effect. He ride-shared to work everyday through the streets of Bethlehem on the back of the Beast marked with the numbers 666 during mid-town rush-hour traffic thereby reducing carbon dioxide emissions helping to mitigate global warming.

3. Herod did not kill thousands of male children in a vain search and destroy mission for the baby Jesus to preserve his power. He vigorously prosecuted an immigration and naturalization policy, inventing: "Voluntarily Emigrate back to your Heavenly Kingdom of Origin or Face Immediate Retroactive Abortion of Your Male Child Day" for illegal immigrant children of the Almighty.

2. Herod did not send out the 'Three Wise Men' to follow a star in the East, the sign of the arrival of the New Born King. He sent out team reporters to do a human interest story on a UFO sighting.

1. That He Actually Existed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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