Written by Matt Birkenhauer
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Saturday, 16 December 2017

image for If Trump Only Had a Brain With the thoughts he could be thinkin', / He'd not drive us all to drinkin'/ If he only had a brain.

Dorothy: What would Trump do with a brain if he had one?

Do? Why, if Trump had a brain he'd . . . .

He would while away the hours
Conferin' with white papers
And consultin' with his aides.
And his hair he'd be scratchin'
While solutions he was hatchin'
If he only had a brain.

He'd not waste his time on Twitter,
Attacking every critter,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts he could be thinkin',
He'd not drive us all to drinkin',
If he only had a brain.

Oh he could tell you why,
The Earth's getting warmer
Instead of tweeting things that make us dumber.
And then he'd sit, and maybe think some more.

He might just turn into somethin'
Instead of only puffin'
About his anger and his pain.
He might even be engagin'
Instead of always ragin'
If he only had a brain.

Oh, he could tell us how
The Russians interfered
And how the other candidate they smeared.
And then he'd sit, and try to think some more
About his buddy Mr. Putin,
Who is crafty like Rasputin
But unlike Mr. Trump he has a brain.

He'd not waste his time on Twitter,
Attacking every critter,
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts he could be thinkin',
He'd not drive us all to drinkin',
If he only had a brain.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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