Written by Matt Birkenhauer
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Monday, 3 July 2017

image for Encomium by a Conflicted Republican

Friends, Republicans, deplorables, lend me your ears;
I come to defend Donald Trump, and to praise him.
The tweets that men post oft live after them;
And good is oft interrèd with their boners.
So let it be with Trump. Sarah Huckabee
Hath told you Trump is a fighter.
And so he is, however fatuous,
And pettily hath Trump now proven it.
Here under leave of Huckabee and the rest
(For Huckabee is an honorable shill;
So are they all, all honorable shills),
Come I to speak now of the Twit-in-Chief.
He is my friend, since I was on the Apprentice.
But Huckabee says he is a fighter,
And Huckabee, we know, is a paid shill.
He hath made empty promises to us,
While he now his general coffers fill.
Does this in Trump now seem ambitious?
When the poor have cried, Trump has tweeted;
Promises should be made of sterner stuff.
Yet Huckabee now says he is a fighter;
And Huckabee is an honorable shill.
You all did see that on Inauguration
Thousands did not attend to watch the King,
Which he did thrice deny. Was this vindictive?
Yet Huckabee says he was not vindictive;
And sure she is an honorable shill.
I speak not to disprove what Sarah spoke,
Since Republicans have now their weak spines lost.
But I must shill now till it come back to them.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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