Written by Backandtotheleft
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Tags: BBC

Thursday, 29 June 2017

We at Back and to the Left news are so connected with youth culture we feel like we are almost inside young people. It's a closeness that you would expect from a lover or a Dr who specialises in looking at genitals. Hang on can we start again?

After hearing the news that BBC Radio One was struggling to find new DJ's we tried to get an interview with the head of the station. Unfortunately he'd seen our previous work and told us to fuck off. After several unsuccessful attempts to engage multiple members of staff (including three of the cafeteria workers and a bus driver we met on the way) we finally convinced someone to talk to us.

Tom Langsfeild is a multi media and radio media semi pro modular expert with a degree in youth culture trickledown economics and movement of unregulated media scopes. In short he currently worked as a barman in a Selby Weatherpoons. He thought he could give us the answer to the questions we had. By this point we didn't care, he was getting us staff discount on our drinks.

He began without much prompting from us. He was a eager wellspring of information and hypothesis and we were but horses who had been led to drink from his mouth.

"The problem, if you chose to or not to accept it, is the inherent decline of modern pop culture techniques employed by Westeren DJs since the development of the mass produced multi media marker."

We literally had fuck all idea what he had just said.

"The main reason, although if you looked deeper into the symptomatic problems in the BBC that ruthlessly mirror so many of our societies there are many more, they are struggling to find a DJ is simple. The radio DJ's themselves have become mass produced mouth pieces for uncaring media moguls to promote their bland, vapid music."

Again everything he had just said flew by us like so many drunken nights out.

He sighed as if he could taste our ignorance.

"How can I put this so the flora I'm presented with as a conversation participator can understand? DJ's are a broken mechanism inside a soiled machine? Do you comprehend?"

He might as well have been a horse making noises at us in a desperate attempt to get us to understand his native peoples culture.

"Can we get another drink?" We asked sheepishly we were beginning to feel like he thought we were beneath him.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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