Written by Philip J. Moss
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Sunday, 5 March 2017

[President Trump is being interviewed by Charlie Rose on PBS]

CR: Mr. President, thank you for being here.
T: My pleasure.
CR: The New York Times reported today that you've claimed that President Obama tapped your phone.
T: That's right.
CR: What proof do you have of that?
T: How else do you explain it?
CR: Explain what?
T: The leaks. How do you explain the leaks? Everything that happens to me is being reported in The New York Times. First Flynn, now Sessions. Where is it going to end?
CR: I don't understand. Every administration has had to deal with leaks to the media. Some administrations have deliberately leaked information, to serve their own agendas. How does the fact that people in your administration are leaking information to the press support your claim that your predecessor tapped your phone?
T: People are saying, you know. A lot of people are saying that. Just go on the internet. You'll see.
CR: Well, a lot of what is on the internet is merely opinion. Unsupported opinion. The fact that you can find something on the internet doesn't mean that it's true.
T: Oh, sure. That's what I'd expect from someone like you, someone who's a part of the liberal media conspiracy.
CR: Do you think that I'm conspiring against you, Mr. President?
T: Aren't you? Everyone knows about PBS. Just ask anyone. You're out to sabotage me, make me look bad. You and that Stephen Colbert. And Alex Baldwin. You think I don't notice? You think I live in a bubble? I know what's going on. I see the taunts about my hair, about my hands. You're all talking about me behind my back, trying to turn the country against me. Trying to make me look stupid.
CR: That's . . .
T: I'm not stupid, you know.
CR: Mr. President.
T: I hear things, you know.
CR: What do you hear, Mr. President?
T: I hear things. The CIA has a tap on the phones of Kim Jong Un. You know who he is?
CR: Yes. He's the leader of North Korea.
T: [nodding vigorously] That's right. And I've been listening in to his conversations.
CR: And what have you learned?
T: That's how I learned that Obama was tapping my phones.
CR: Is that why you're wearing a tin-foil hat, Mr. President?
T: No. The hat allows me to hear Him better.
CR: You mean . . .
T: Yeah. You-know-who.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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