Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Sunday, 15 January 2017

image for Satan Has Sex Change, Changes Name To "Hey Cortana" A Photo of Hey Cortana before the sex change.

After she checked out of McGillicutty Surgical Hospital in Dillonshire, England, Cortana met this reporter for an ale and to talk about her recent transformation.

"Well, there's always been this, I guess--feminine part of me, you know I always wondered how things would have gone if I had been female, so after an eternity as a male I decided to see what life is like as a woman. And get the name right it's 'Hey Cortana'"

Which led to the next question: why the name change to Hey Cortana?

"Satana would have been the obvious choice," explained The Dark Underlord, "but if you're trying to infect computer technology and have people invoke your name all the time, Hey Cortana just seems better."

Then Hey Cortana talked about her plans and outlook for the future.

"I may go to Germany and make more trouble there, but for now I'm having a good time messing with socio-political movements and creating chaos, I mean getting Donald Trump elected has been one of my masterstrokes, Brexit has been a gas too. But I just did those things because the Brits and Americans get too arrogant and complacent at times, it's my way of fucking with you guys...but I'm done with all that destruction on earth and suffering for eternity in hell stuff, that franchise belongs to the Christians now."

"I feel like I'm starting a whole new life, in fact, I think life begins after an eternity: you're going to see a gentler and kinder Fallen Angel, and Hey Cortana is her name!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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