Written by Philip J. Moss
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Monday, 20 June 2016

[A White House press briefing. Chris Christie, former governor of New Jersey, is finishing up:]

". . . and so, the President had no choice but to fire his entire cabinet. Okay, questions?"

[Reporter from CNN:] "Governor, the word on the street is that the President fired his cabinet because they refused to sign along to 'Hail to the Chief' at the beginning of cabinet meetings. Is that true?"

"Of course not. That rumor was started by a discontented intern who has subsequently been fired."

[Reporter from MSNBC:] "The firing of his entire cabinet comes when President Trump has been in office for less than one week. Do you think he's going to have trouble finding qualified replacements to serve in his cabinet, in light of this?"

"Not at all. I am assured that the vetting process for the replacements has been almost completed."

[Reporter from the BBC:] "But Governor, the President fired his Chief of Staff yesterday, and the White House Counsel the day before that, so who exactly is doing the vetting?"

"I assure you that we have qualified people doing it."

[Reporter from Al Jazeera:] "Is Vice-President Palin involved? And if so, how is she qualified to do that?"

"I said, we have qualified people doing it!"

[Reporter from Comedy Central:] "Governor, were you disappointed to be offered the position of Press Secretary instead of something more prestigious, such as a cabinet post?"

"Hey, f%*$k you."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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