Written by Philip J. Moss
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Sunday, 19 June 2016

[Vice-President Palin, in an exclusive interview with Megyn Kelly:] "Well of course I was surprised, silly, when I got the call from Donald's team to serve as number two! I mean, it's not every day that a girl is asked to be a heartbeat away from being the most powerful man on the planet, and it him being seventy and all, it makes you think, you know?"

"Madam Vice-President, the word on the street is that you were the first candidate to say yes, after 172 others had declined. Including Chris Christie."

"I don't know where you got that idea, Megyn."

"Actually, it was leaked by a campaign staffer. A Trump campaign staffer."

"Well, who cares, anyway? The important thing is that the American people finally have the president and vice-president they deserve!"

"U.S. citizens have now been banned from entering France, in retaliation for President Trump's ban on French citizens from entering the the United States. What would you say to President Hollande, if you had the chance?"

"Well I think that's easy, don't you? I would tell him that Holland is a wonderful country, with their dikes and all, but we've got to protect ourselves from terrorists, dont'cha know?"

"France is only the latest member of the Eurozone to ban our citizens, after President Trump banned citizens of Spain, Portugal, Greece and Italy from entering the U.S. Are you saying that all of the citizens of those five countries are terrorists, or potential terrorists?"

"Oh gee, I'm not saying that they're all bad, but the bad ones will hide among the good ones, if you give 'em half the chance."

"One more question, madam Vice-President. The New York Times this morning published on OpEd signed by twenty-two psychiatrists stating that, in their opinion, both you and President Trump suffer from ADHD and should be prescribed Methylphenidate, better known as Ritalin. Do you have any comment on that?"

"Well as you know, Megyn, I am strongly opposed to OpEds, because so many people have become addicted to them. And I personally don't feel that I have ever suffered from adee-whadaya-callit. And everyone knows that the New York Times only prints bad stuff which nobody reads anyway, so what, and by the way one of my kids had to take that rit-a-something and it didn't help at all, but if those doctors are so smart why don't they figure out what to do about the extremists, huh, they must've not done well in school if they can't figure that out . . ."

"Thank you madam Vice-President, I'm afraid we've run out of time."

"You betcha."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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