Written by Philip J. Moss
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Thursday, 5 May 2016

[Donald Trump confers with his chief political advisor Michael Glassner, on the selection of a running mate:]

MG (sorting through stack of resumes): What about this republican governor in Maine, LePage?

DT: No one's ever heard of Maine. Next choice?

MG: How about Silvio Berlusconi?

DT: Isn't he in jail? Never mind. He's more outrageous than I am, he'd steal attention away from me. We need someone to balance the ticket.

MG: How about Chris Christie?

DT: I said balance the ticket, not overbalance it.

MG: Marco Rubio? It'd help us with the Hispanic-Latino vote.

DT: Too lame. The guy has even less energy than Jeb.

MG: Okay, we are looking for somebody with energy, but not so much energy that he or she steals attention away from you, somebody whose face won't scare a little child, and who isn't a fatty. How about . . .

DT: Wait a minute, I got it. Give Joe Biden a call.

MG: Huh? He'd never accept it, he's a democrat.

DT: So what? He's going to be out of a job soon, he doesn't have enough energy to go for the number one spot on the ticket, and he says stupid stuff from time to time. He's perfect.

MG: You're crazy!

DT: Lots of people have said that, and I've proved them all wrong. Look, I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.

MG: Oh, so now you're Don Corleone?

DT: I do look a bit like him, don't I. Only better hair.

MG: What could you possibly offer Joe Biden to get him to agree to be your running mate? You going to put his face on the ten dollar bill?

DT: Even better. I can't tell you what my plan is. But it'll be HUUUUGE!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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