Written by Auntie Matter
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: Gay

Sunday, 24 April 2016

image for Are You Gay or Straight? Don't Know If You are Queer or Straight? Read On.

Are You Gay but don't Know it? Maybe you don't shave twice a day, have seven girlfriends for each day of the week and have an interest in meditation?.. well this post is for you. If you are female maybe you have bigger questions in your life outside of ... "What do I do if I get pregnant?"

Your REAL identity can be discerned easily. Are you really homosexual and don't know it? So homosexual in fact that you cannot face Who You Really Are?. Confused as only you can be? Well then, you have come to the right place.

If you can relate to the following then the answer will irrevocably be... "You Are a Gay" old buddy, but Don't Know it." = YGDK.

1. I love beauty and especially beautiful women = YGDK.
2. I read more than three books a year and love poetry = YGDK.
3. I love Abba. = YGDK.
4. I love to see my girlfriend wear pink = YGDK.
5. I love Elvis. = YGDK.
6. I would think twice about killing somebody = YGDK.
7. I love my father. = YGDK.
8. I love art and /or classical music. = YGDK.
9. Me and my sister are really close = YGDK.
10. Me and my mum are really close = YGDK.
11. Me and my wife are so close we cannot tell who is who = YGDK.
12. I would not want to kill anyone = YGDK.
13. I kissed my cousin once = YGDK.
14. I love ballet.= YGDK.
15. I love opera = YGDK.
16. I love wine = YGDK.
17. I don't love wine = YGDK.
18. I love boxing = YGDK.
19. I hate boxing = YGDK.
20. I don't need people to be happy = YGDK.
21. I need my buddies in order to be happy = YGDK.
22. I feel free. = YGDK.
24. I think Che Guevara was a real man. = YGDK.
25. I think Che Guevara was a screwed up SOB = YGDK.
26. I think Spartacus is a great movie = YGDK.
27. I think Spartacus is a load of mythic shite = YGDK.
28. I think this whole line of inquiry is a pile of horsehsit (duh?)and thespoof.com who air this crap are probably all paranoid... which is the definitive characteristic of Gays.= YGDK.
29. I think calling homosexuals "fags" is bang our of order... -YGDK.
30. I am gay for sure. = YGDK.
31. No way could I be gay... YGDK.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

67 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more