Written by Philip J. Moss
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Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Young Frankenstein, starring Dr. Ben Carson as the son following in the footsteps of his father, the infamous scientist, with Carly Fiorina as his sweetheart Inga, Ted Cruz as the doctor's hunchbacked assistant Igor, and Donald Trump as the monster with the abby-normal brain. Here is a preview:

Dr. C: Inga, what are you doing?

Carly: Roll, roll, roll. I am rolling in the $42 million in severance pay I received for ruining Hewlett-Packard and firing over 18,000 people.

Cruz: Doctor, I couldn't find the brain you wanted, so I took out my own and put it in a brown paper bag, but the brain was kind of wet and the bottom of the bag tore open, and I stepped on it. My brain. So, I brought you Donald Trump's brain instead.

Dr. C: Are you sure there aren't any other brains? Did you look inside the pyramids?

Carly: Doctor, you're going to put Trump's brain inside the skull of an eight foot tall corpse, and then run a gazillion volts of electricity through it to bring it back to life?

Dr. C: It's always worked for me before, in thousands of successful operations.

Ready, Igor? Throw the switch!

[Loud crackling and buzzing noises, sort of like a mosquito being fried in a bug zapper]

Cruz: Look he's moving! He's tearing off the restraints! He's sitting up!

Dr. C: Inga, hold up a mirror, so he can see himself.

Trump: Jesus, look at that face.

Dr. C: How do you feel?

Trump: I feel really smart. In fact, looking at the rest of you, I'd say I'm probably the smartest guy in the room.

***

"A milestone in cinema," says Vincent Canby of The New York Times. "Art imitating life."

"A blockbuster," says Robert Osborne. "Carson as Dr. Frankenstein is absolutely believable!"

"Sent shivers up my spine," says Anthony Lane of The New Yorker. "You will lose sleep just thinking about it."

Copyright © 2015 Philip J. Moss - All rights reserved.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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