Written by huang84
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Tags: college, TV

Tuesday, 8 September 2015

College student Ronnie O'Brien stated to the press that she couldn't wait for the next season of True Love to come out. The season finale occurred earlier this month, and next season won't arrive until at least May of next year.

On her calendar, she is counting down the days until the season approximate start date, and she's at 244 days, a very depressing figure. She feels like she is literally unable to wait.

"I literally can't wait for it to come out. I just want time to fast forward to the next May, instead of having to plod through this year going through the motions so that I can finally get to watch the show. In a movie, I saw a machine that worked as a hibernator, and I wondered, wouldn't it be nice if I could have that? Then I would just get into the machine, got to sleep and get up again in May."

Recently, she's been trying to keep her restlessness at bay by binge-watching old seasons. "My whole life is about that show right now," she adds. She might consider the possibility of watching other shows, too, but she's very picky about what she watches and feels that she may never find another show like True Love.

"Right now True Love's the only show that I like, so it's especially hard for it to end. Like going through a break-up. But it's only time again before you reconnect, or worse comes to worse, find another love." Before True Love, she admitted to having watched the entire series of Mountain King, Home-Deco and Prince Charming with a single-minded zeal. But those shows each had sadly discontinued, and she had to expand her tastes to find another passion. "If True Love truly ended, I'd be really sad, but I think I'd eventually move on and find another show of some kind. Of course I'd always be nostalgic about True Love, just as I am about the others. But enough with that! Right now I just don't want this relationship to end."

She recalls feeling elated about this past season. "I had a calendar marking down the days to the show a month before and hosted a party with friends the night it aired," she said, adding that her friends were also just as much into the show as she was. They made lasagna and had champagne as they watched the host appear on the balcony of the mansion where the contestants would compete for love.

"That whole three months was sublime. Watching that show on Thursday nights was the highlight of every week."

When asked about her classes and other obligations such as working at Whole Foods, she gave a light shrug. "Yeah I manage to keep up with things, studying the night before and working as little as I can to get by, but none of that really motivates me." She admits to ambling to class, checking out customers' food one at a time while wishing that she could just cross off an entire week on her calendar.

She also feels that watching the show has been doing her life some good. She's not too stressed about finding a 'dream' job like some of her peers are, and she's an expert on everything romantic. "I know every tip on that show on snagging the man of your dreams and making love. One thing I learned was to light coconut candles, because men are subconsciously reminded of their early weaning years and tend to like you better as a result." She admitted, slightly embarrassed, that she had never tried this before but is sure to do so, along with a list of other tricks, with the first guy she goes on a date with.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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