Written by Dick Sheerer
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: life, picnic

Friday, 31 July 2015

image for The Case Against Recreation - Part 22: Picnics

Picnics- involve the eating of meals in an outdoor setting such as a park. The procedure is quite simple: participants prepare the meal at home, pack it along with a table cloth, and maybe some folding chairs. Then they go to an outdoor location, perhaps a designated public picnic area where they spread the tablecloth on the ground, if no picnic tables are available. It's a popular pastime considered normal, wholesome fun. But intense scrutiny reveals it to be a very strange and deviant activity indeed.

Proponents say they enjoy eating outside with fresh air and a scenic view. But that poor excuse does not outweigh all the negative factors that make picnicking stupid. Humans struggled for thousands of years to build a world where meals can be eaten in a special part of their home, with all the clean and comfortable household furniture and appliances at their fingertips.

Modern man, in a reverse-evolutionary move, instead chooses to dine among the rodents and insects, sitting in grass scattered with dog feces, with food serving as a magnet for ants and other pests. Picnickers like it when flies-that were maggots on rotten meat in a dumpster an hour prior to eating the picnic food-land on their face. Other things people like about picnics are the spider and flea bites, and of course mosquito bites that cause Nile virus.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

40 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more