Written by Dick Sheerer
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Friday, 31 July 2015

Refrigerator- This modern day appliance had its origin from when ancient man stored perishable food in snow packs, a practice that later lead to the invention of the ice box, which was a storage box full of ice. It wasn't until the discovery of electricity when what we know as the refrigerator was invented.

Oven- This is the second oldest kitchen appliance that marked an advancement in cooking technology from the campfire, to the fireplace, then to the first pot-bellied stove. Following a long series of upgrades with natural gas burning stoves and electric ranges, the latest version is the microwave oven.

The electric range is the appliance from hell that gives the cook a taste of hell by burning her when possible. Gas grills not only cause deadly explosions but are a convenient way to commit suicide just by turning off the pilot light, turning the gas on and sticking your head in the oven for a while. Stoves are also useful for spilling boiling water on your skin, or splashing hot grease in your eye.

Dishwasher & Garbage Disposal - Like most inventions these appliances are products of human laziness, and as such are rife with hazards. Housewives use them while they watch game shows and soap operas on TV. Dishwashers led to mass unemployment in the restaurant industry, and many hands have been shredded while trying to retrieve a wedding ring when the garbage disposal was turned on.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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