Written by Dick Sheerer
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Friday, 31 July 2015

HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES

What started as a well intentioned manufacturing movement toward freeing the housewife from a life of hard labor soon turned into an all out invasion of the killer machines. They infiltrated households like Trojan Horses disguised as handy helpers designed to save time doing the work faster and better than a human.

Shortly after the arrival of the machines women realized that their services were no longer required as full time housekeepers, as did their husbands. Wives felt pressure to prove their worth and their husbands expected more from them to compensate for the loss of value as laborers. This condition lead to a profound transformation of the marital partnership with a new focus on the sexual aspects of the relationship.

Women emphasized their sensual side using sex appeal to please their mate. Men welcomed their wives new image as sex object, they bought all the latest appliances to liberate wives from the slavery of housework, and would be free to be sex slaves. The arrangement worked fine for a while but eventually the women started complaining about being treated like whores. In addition the machines required someone to operate them, so the housewives were now slaves to the machines.

Humans invent appliances to do their work for them. The problem is that eventually appliances will do all their work and humans will no longer be needed. The following household appliances have industrial counterparts, which basically work the same way but are much larger and more powerful, as are the negative effects from their use

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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