Written by Martin Jaeger
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Saturday, 20 June 2015

South Carolina state capitol building

Interview of Senator Lindsey Graham by Bret Fincher

"Senator Graham," Fincher asked, reading from his legal pad, "it is my understanding that you don't want to remove the Confederate Flag."

"Yes sir, I mean no sir," the senator mumbled his right hand saluting the Confederate Flag.

"I," the senator continued, "got up early and raised the flag myself. I just forgot if I was supposed to face east or west."

"Is is true," Fincher asked, reading from his legal pad again, "that you said the flag is part of who we are?"

"You bet your chitlins, I said that," the senator said.

"The flag is the symbol of slavery and division," Fincher said, looking askance at the senator.

"That's what I stand for, Yankee," the senator said smiling into the camera. "You, free them, and you get yourself an Obama. Ain't that proof enough for you?"

"But," Fincher uttered, "you're no racist, are you senator?"

"If the shoe fits," the senator raising his other hand in salute, said, "wear it, my daddy said, and he had size 13 shoes." The senator lifted up his shoes and they were huge, at least 5 sizes too big.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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