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Friday, 12 June 2015

Pulp fiction bohemian, notable public figure, economic migrant and Daily Mail man of letters Richard Littlejohn has recently written and provided a measured and balanced response™...

To Operation Yewtree's relentless persecution of countless dead white men (and the occasional dead non-white person).

The loony lefty Operation Yewtree campaign has been off the news for months, but it probably won't surprise you that you all agree with me:

It's political correctness gone mad™!

I mean, they've gone way off, maliciously and cynically targeting all these poor old dead folks.

Well for a start, the genuinely extreme EDL and BNP were alleging that the Prophet Mohammed married Aysha when she was 9 years old, and then people were saying, "hang on, mate, historians don't have full consensus on this."

So they just quit digging. You just couldn't make it up™!

Well, you know what? I'm not really into conspiracy theories™, but it's interesting that when they finally threw down the shovel, just this once, it was about Mohammed and not, I don't know, some notable medieval Pope or 16th century Protestant reformer or something.

I mean, I'm not going to be one-sided here™. From an objective, tabloid-friendly critical distance, the EDL and BNP are not really all that, are they?

But this is Britain, this is a democracy, so all this politically-correct tip-toeing™ around radical Islam is not right. I'd like to see some consistency here; you can't say I'm anything but fair and impartial.

So, what else? Well again, they've been maliciously targeting and harassing Socrates, one of the greatest founding figures of our great Western Civilization.

I mean, to be fair, I was never such a fan of him, because he was into semantics, and I just can't stand people who constantly witter on about:

"What do you mean by that? Shouldn't you define your terms a bit better?"

Still, just horses for courses, I suppose.

But yes: I mean, there's a reason some people are renowned and highly esteemed tabloid journalists and headline-writers, and others are just slumming it in some pretentious post-1992 diploma mill™ like MIT or something.

And what do they study over there anyway apart from 'semantics?'

Radical LGBT Twitterizing studies?

Hardcore feminizing?

Fashionable eco-terrorism?

Tedious leftie broadsheet moralizing?

Well? Anyone?

Yes, that's right, your guess is as good as mine.

No, not better than mine, but as good as mine.

At least.

Well, I don't know; personally it's all the same to me.

And as always, when I say "personally," I'm sure I speak for every one of us.

Still, it's really a bit harsh and moralistic, what the fashionable, politically correct Yewtree Stasi are doing to the dead,

And if there's one thing my newspaper can't abide, it's harshness and moralism.

(I mean, we can't bloody stand those pompous, fastidious, screaming lefty hucksters and charlatans, can we? Always on their soapbox, ranting about this and that; blumming ridiculous).

But yes: at the end of the day, I'm sure for I speak for most of us (and again, not for the first time)…

When I say that trawling Athens for young men to educate in speculative metaphysics, pompously tendentious ethical reasoning and hyper-logical nit-picking, followed by a good old Greeky-cheeky rogering; it just isn't really our cup of tea.

It's really quite un-British, after all; and that's argument enough, isn't it!

Well… swings and roundabouts, I suppose.

But still; this is Britain, and we have to take a moderate view.

For, as a certain notable public figure from Grantham once said, extremes are always wrong, by definition…

Whether it's the BNP and EDL, or some loony lefty quasi-Stalinistic gang of champagne-guzzling impoverishment-apparatchiks like Not-So-Non-New-Labour.

You know, personally (but as always, you don't need to take my word for it), I think the entirely predictable, tedious and mundane, loony lefty sensationalist, rabble-rousing moral panic around poor old Socrates…

Is a typical top-down, PC lefty, bureaucratic Nanny State imposition™.

(Well, you didn't see that one coming, did you!)

I mean, when you think about it™, he's a bit like Thatcher or Ronald Reagan…

Yes, on balance, a bit of a dodgy figure…

But just let the poor bugger rest in peace, for God's sake! In this country, we don't speak ill of the dead.

Well apart from Harold Wilson maybe, but he was a pompous, self-righteous fool who nearly bankrupted us, just like Blair and Brown and Miliband and all the rest; so I suppose he's a unique exception.

Well, you know; next thing they'll be telling us our precious taxpayer's money™ should be diverted from fracking or some other perfectly economically viable and politically sustainable cause, and used to fund high-minded, achingly noble, politically correct hobbyhorses like universal education…

So that be-hoodied, beer-swilling, Radio-1-listening, single-father, stay-at-home-chavs from Broken Brixton™x1000 can start arbitrarily demanding an Eton-standard education.

Well… mind how you go™!

Don't worry, there's more to follow. Richard won't abandon you in your hour of greatest need; the spirit of Churchill is ever with us.

Note: I owe to the following link the scoop on Richard Littlejohn being an economic migrant. I will not comment on the comment of the blog post itself, but merely credit the blog post with the "economic migrant" phrase. What I've written here is a satire article after all, and not a prose polemic of media critique…. http://primlystable.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/littlejohn-plagiarises-self-still-gets.html

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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