Written by Martin Jaeger
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Thursday, 21 May 2015

I was scheduled to get my new 5 year license at the Department of Motor Vehicles at 2 P.M. As I approached the door I noticed hundreds of people lined up, angry and shouting. They had placards and waved them.

I stopped to ask an older man with gray hair and a feather in it, about the tumult.

"What's going on," I asked him.

Fortunately he spoke enough English for me to understand him. "Governor Brown signed a new law allowing 'illegals' to get a California Drivers License."

"So," I asked, "why the picketing?"

"They don't want to drive the streets of Los Angeles with all the traffic, and potholes, and accidents."

"I see."

"Some people think giving a license to drive in L. A. is a sophisticated way of killing illegals so they don't have to be sent back across the border."

"I can understand that," I replied.

"So they refuse to get a Drivers License. Look," he said and pointed to one sign. "WE NO FILL FORMS FOR LICENSE--WE NO LOCO."

A Hispanic, dark eyes, mustached, standing next to us and listening, shrieked at me, "You won't catch me driving on the 405 Freeway, ever." Another, wearing a large sombrero said, "Nothing can make me drive the streets of L.A. Do you think I snuck over the fence in Tijuana, just to commit suicide?"

After reading the placards and thinking about what these "illegals" said, I became nervous about driving on the streets and highways. I decided to turn back around and forget renewing my license. After all, I'm no dumb gringo.

Van Nuys, California
In front of the California Department of Vehicles
John Ristnicktoshman reports.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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