Written by Auntie Matter
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Tags: life

Sunday, 26 April 2015

image for None of Your Goddam Business! Which one is you?

Two strangers meet in a bar and get to talking. The following 'conversation' took place.

1. What is your name?
2. Mathew.

1. Mother's maiden name?
2. Coyle.

1. Where do you live?
2. I live in Madison Drive, Wisconsin.

1. If I said I wanted an aerial photo of your house what would you say?
2. Where I live is none of your business.

1. If I asked you how you got it, when you got it, how much your mortgage is, if you have one, and how much the property is worth... what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I said I wanted to know what you read, ate, how many kids you had, how old they were and what they were doing, and what books and television programs you and your family liked what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I demanded to know about your political affiliations and religious beliefs and those of your wife, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you what magazines and newspapers you and your wife read and how much you spend on them each week, what your favourite movies and TV programs are, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you how much money you have in the bank, how you spend it on a daily basis, how often you visit an ATM in an average week, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked what your present income is and how much money you spend on hobbies and leisure pursuits and what they are, how long per day you spend at your computer, how many calls you make on your mobile and to whom, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you where you go for your holidays and where you stay and for how long, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you were you ever sick and with what, if you were ever vaccinated as a child and against what, ever been in jail, for how long and for what, if you were ever fined for a traffic offence and how often, ever been in a traffic accident, ever fired from your job, ever been arrested, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you whom your intended to visit on your next leave, where they lived, how often you have visited them in the past and how long you intend to stay there, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you for the name, address and phone number of the person or persons you intend to visit, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. If I asked you who your wife is, her mother's maiden name, her father's name and occupation, where they lived, their phone number, dates of birth, their religious and political beliefs and the same about your brothers and sisters and so son, what would you say?
2. None of your goddam business.

1. Do you realise that there are people whom you have never met... and a great number of them at that... who are paid to find out all of the above and more about you, your family and private life; and they have cleverly hypnotized you into thinking that they have an exclusive RIGHT to ALL of this information... that YOUR life is THEIR business? And they believe this is a perfectly normal profession to engage in and they never even ask what becomes of the information they trawl for day and night. And you, because you have supplied them with ALL of this information in one way or another many times over, have come to accept this criminal invasion of your life and personal affairs as THE NORM. You accept it as the norm because everybody is doing it. Isn't that so? And why is everybody doing it?
2. Because...because... it's the norm.

1. Does the phrase "New World Order" mean anything to you?
2. Not really. Some sort of conspiracy theory bull... isn't it?

1. Does the word "Sheeple" mean anything to you?
2. Is that a movie?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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