Written by dave nelson
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: God, Jesus

Saturday, 28 March 2015

Wow - I just realized that God has to be Hispanic!

I mean - otherwise he would have named his only kid God Junior or at least some common name of those times- like Joshua or Peter or Moishe -any thing but Jesus(unless he was Hispanic).

What made me think of this was I was watching the Los Angeles marathon last week and at least fifty percent of the people had to be Hispanic -and at least fifty percent of them were named Jesus - and I says to myself; "Wow -these guys all look like Jesus Christ - and God gave him that name -and that was not a common name -so God had to be Hispanic."

Wow! -- can you imagine what God is thinking about all these religious conservatives and white nativists who are bashing these poor illegal immigrants - who are his Hispanic brothers and sisters?

And - I bet that the Hispanics -not the Jews -are Gods chosen people. You notice he didn't name Moses - Jesus.

And -the true bible story must be that he cast out the Hispanics from the United States and let the Gringos (like the Egyptians with the Hebrews)) enslave them because they were being bad -but now he is letting them back into their promised land.

And for three thousand years the Jews have been selling the story about Canaan and being cast out and all that Pharaoh stuff just so they could look like the chosen people and get all that promotion -when the Hispanics -led by Gods Hispanic son Jesus - were the chosen people all along.

Well - as Mencken said; "Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing"

But -maybe God IS Jewish but has a pushy Hispanic wife. (you notice I didn't say cunty)
Posted 3rd March 2008 by dave nelson
Wow - I just realized that God has to be Hispanic!

I mean - otherwise he would have named his only kid God Junior or at least some common name of those times- like Joshua or Peter or Moishe -any thing but Jesus(unless he was Hispanic).

What made me think of this was I was watching the Los Angeles marathon yesterday and at least fifty percent of the people had to be Hispanic -and at least fifty percent of them were named Jesus - and I says to myself; "Wow -these guys all look like Jesus Christ - and God gave him that name -and that was not a common name -so God had to be Hispanic."

Wow! -- can you imagine what God is thinking about all these religious conservatives and white nativists who are bashing these poor illegal immigrants - who are his Hispanic brothers and sisters?

And - I bet that the Hispanics -not the Jews -are Gods chosen people. You notice he didn't name Moses - Jesus.

And -the true bible story must be that he cast out the Hispanics from the United States and let the Gringos (like the Egyptians with the Hebrews)) enslave them because they were being bad -but now he is letting them back into their promised land.

And for three thousand years the Jews have been selling the story about Canaan and being cast out and all that Pharaoh stuff just so they could look like the chosen people and get all that promotion -when the Hispanics -led by Gods Hispanic son Jesus - were the chosen people all along.

Well - as Mencken said; "Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

28 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more