Written by Mr. Bawsaq
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Tags: business

Saturday, 7 March 2015

Most slogans are meant to persuade you to buy their horrible product, not make you question why you're shopping there. Mr. Bawsaq searched high and low for off putting slogans just for you! Here are the top 10! Enjoy!

Walmart - "Cheap goods and terrible service in a megastore where fat old ladies, dirty racists, child abusers, and teenagers with no shame assemble to make you sad to shop here!"

K-Mart - "We are entirely made by the Chinese so expect broken goods and watch as we outsource your parent's job to a 5 yr old in Asia!"

Taco Bell - "Planing for a relaxing day? Not on my watch! You'll be stuck on the toilet; begging for mercy!"

Home Depot - "Show your wife and kids who the biggest tool is -by buying ours!"

McDonald's - "Don't wanna cook and you don't really care about your health? Perfect. We've been causing obesity since the 20th century."

Chevrolet - "The American Dream. Guns, freedom, hatred for minorities, and American-made cars that break down the day you take it off the lot. Glad we're outsourcing more and more every year. Screw the American economy."

Xbox - "Come out and play our over-priced system, talk to horny racist 12 yr olds all day long and regret ever dollar you paid us... As you continue to pay us."

Twitter - "Stay connected with morons, hot girls, celebrities that are unaware of your existence, and past classmates who gained quite a bit of weight since graduation."

Tumblr - "Home of the Hipster, Station of the sad teenage girl, and empire of the egocentric."

The Spoof - "Read news that's not even real.. Oh wait. No, that's Fox News. Waste time reading articles from people who aren't even legitimate authors and laugh your ass off while doing it."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

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