Written by Paxton Quigley
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Sunday, 25 January 2015

image for Paxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen Kiss my arse, Ms. Quigley

We've all done it. Go on, admit it. It's not a crime. In a moment of vanity I Googled myself and there it was - 67,000 entries. My name all over the Internet. I was smug. Ha! My literary exploits have made me internationally famous, but then what was that? A website in my name? Bastard. Let's read it.

"Paxton Quigley, a well-known author, firearms instructor and author, covers the why, when, how and what of firearms for women…" Hmmm...a bit repetitive.

"Quigley is a guru for the women's movement and weapons. She looks a little like she was coming from the TV series Dallas: blonde, perfect hair-do, perfect smile, she does not tell her age."

WTF? "Firearms instructor"? "She"? What the hell is going on? Now, I don't mind that Hollywood made a soft porn film about my real life sexual exploits at the University of Balham in the 1970s, when I was locked in an attic and almost shagged to death by three lusty women, in fact I was quite proud about it, but taking my name in vain for the gun lobby? That takes the proverbial biscuit.

I'll see you in court, "Ms. Quigley", if I can find you.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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