Written by Matt Birkenhauer
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Monday, 22 December 2014

image for Ted Cruz the Showman (sung to the melody of "Frosty the Snowman") O, Ted Cruz the Showman was a calculating troll, / With McCarthy looks and a button nose / And two eyes made out of coal."

Ted Cruz the Showman was a sleazy scrappy soul,
With McCarthy looks and a button nose
And two eyes made out of coal.

Ted Cruz the Showman is a sordid tale, they say,
He was full of blow but Teabillies know
How he came to life one day.

There must have been some money
To propel him to the top.
For when they made him Senator
He became a Tea Party prop.

Oh, Ted Cruz the Showman was a calculating troll,
With McCarthy looks and a button nose
And two eyes devoid of soul.

Ted Cruz the Showman is a sleazy schmoe, they say,
He was made of blow but Teabillies hoped
That he might go all the way.

There must have been some manic in
Ted Cruz the Senate clown.
For when he was grandstanding
The Grand Old Poopers frowned.

Oh, Ted Cruz the Showman
Knew his seat was hot that day,
He said, "I'm almost done
But I'll have some fun
Now before I melt away."

Ted Cruz the Showman
Had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,
"Don't you cry,
I'll be back again some day."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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