Written by Auntie Matter
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Saturday, 13 December 2014

image for "Well Connected" Getting Rave Reviews Where the 'Talentless' Perish.

Ari Alterman has added yet another blockbuster movie to his long string of successes in a career spanning twenty-five years.

"Well Connected" that has a strong magical theme has a sterling cast with Clint Eastwood taking a small role with Beyonce.

It is produced by Ari Alterman, directed by Lilith Alterman and sees the acting debut of Judith Alterman. The script was written by son Zac under the pen-name of "Nathaniel Swift".

Sal Berman, film journalist and co-editor of Variety Magazine who is also married to Ari's niece Fran, said it was a "ground breaking movie that just has to be seen to be believed". Berman's article focuses on the making of the film which is currently being marketed and distributed world wide. Here are a few quotes.

Ari (producer): "How did I get into movies? Well, I was quite young when I started; just married to my first wife. Dad who worked at Paramount took me on a golfing trip with Spielberg and, of course, I got talking to him in the buggy. "I'd really love to work in movies," I told him." "In what way?" he asked with that famous grin of his. "Directing," said I. "Have you any experience?" he asked. "None," I replied. "What are your views on plagiarism?," he wanted to know. "I haven't got any," I said. "Why don't you borrow some?", he laughed. "Come to my office Monday." And the rest, as they say, is history."

Lilith (director): "I didn't want to direct as I hadn't directed anything in my life outside of our kitchen but I had seen Ari do it many, many times... and so it came naturally. I hated the whole idea at first but Ari quickly talked me into it over a candlelight dinner. You just can't say "no" to that man, can you? Soon I was bawling out the cast like I had been doing it for years."

Judith (actress): "I had acted once in our school pantomime when I was six or so...and honestly had no ambition to become an actress at all; until my bank manager talked me into it. I think dad might have had a word in his ear because I am simply no good with money."

Zac (scriptwriter). "Well, before I graduated from college in New York where I was studying economics and had already made up my mind to return to Hollywood, I wrote my mum Lilith a long letter. She wrote back to me and said that I had great writing talent. I hadn't noticed before. Then, when she said she had got this terrific idea for a movie from her friend in England, book publisher Christopher Little who had got it from somebody else, and suggested I write up a script around it, I could not resist. Dad got some of his writer buddies at Paramount to look it over. You can imagine my surprise when the studio accepted it."

Ari Alterman is taking time out next year to do a university lecture tour of the States on "How to Make it in Hollywood", laying much stress on "talent", "hard work" and "dedication"... and that "indispensable stroke of luck".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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