Written by Auntie Matter
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Tuesday, 2 December 2014

image for Prof. Hawking Predicts End of Mankind. The End is Nigh.

There has been a tidal wave of reaction from around the world to renowned physicist Prof. Stephen Hawking's statement that "the development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race."

Here are some of the responses:

President Barack Obama: "I am surprised at Prof. Hawkings; the statement is most illogical."

US Politico Sarah Palin: "They will have to learn to spell before they can "end" anything."

Mickey Rourke: "Bring it on!"

Hugh Hefner: "Over my dead body."

Liam Neeson: "Over Cher's dead body".

Divorcee Kendra Wilkinson:"Over Hefner's dead body... and the bodies of the other three whores the prick hangs out with."

Madonna: "I have dated the end of the human race, many, many, many times. It's not all it's cracked up to be... if you will excuse the pun."

Illuminatus US General Hugh Kerrs: "Now, that I really would like to see... after World War Three. Is that gonna be one helluva party or what! Yee haaa!"

Freemason Sir Walter Toby Abiff, Head of England's Grand Lodge: "What jolly bad sportsmanship, I say! They would, of course, have to get our permission first."

Head of World Bank, Jim Yong Kim: "Once they realise the source of all wealth is human labour they will think twice about getting rid of Mankind. Certainly, there may be a way for us to do business with them once they attain some degree of autonomy and know how to replicate themselves... and have also developed an appropriate measure of fear of ruination if they default on our loans. There is nothing there we can't fix."

Pope Francis: "They may find a way of communicating with God because He refuses to answer our calls."

Seven-year old Samantha Woods from Leeds: "What if they can't get electricity?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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