Written by Ray Bellew
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Tuesday, 21 October 2014

I sat down with Chef Skinny Bidwell to talk to him about his television show Cooking With Skinny. "Chef," I said, "before talking about your show, I wonder if you would comment about how a critic with the New York Times described you. He called you a feisty little bastard with a decent left hook."

"The part about being a feisty little bastard is right on target. However, the part about having a decent left hook is not. I have a trmendous left hook. I mean, did you see last week's show where I knocked out Chef Dominique Delario?"

"I did, but I'm not sure why you did it."

"I had no choice. He made a crack about my waffle."

"What did he say?"

"He said I don't know how to use a toaster. The prick."

"Knocking out guest chefs seems to be a big part of your show. Do you enjoy knocking guys out?"

"Not only guys. I also knocked out Susie Chen."

"Why?"

"She called me an SOB, right after chipping a tooth on one of my egg rolls."

"Chef Skinny, where did you hone your culinary skills?"

"Folsom Prison. Hey, want to try some of my homemade chicken noodle soup?"

"I'll take a sip."

"Well?"

"It tastes just like Campbell's chicken noodle soup."

Chef Skinny's face turned red and steam shot out of his ears. "Are you doubting the authenticity of my soup?"
He screamed.

"It's been fun, but it's time for me to go."

"You're not staying for lunch? I was going to serve you a knuckle sandwich."

"Sorry, but I lost my appetite."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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