Written by NateHutt
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Friday, 19 September 2014

Right now you're probably sitting on your comfy leather chair in front of your computer, IN YOUR WORKPLACE, thinking how much you hate your job. Well stop feeling sorry for yourself because there are numerous people around the world who are sensationally screwed. Just shut up and suck it up. It's obvious that you're not going to get anything done today so I suggest you keep reading.

7 Taxi drivers. They definitely have way worse day that you do. Driving a taxi is stressful and these guys have to deal with all kinds of assholes all day long, day after day. What's worse, the job mainly consists of wasting your time in traffic jams, so it's not surprising to hear that driving a cab for a living considerably shortens your life expectancy.

6 Garbage collectors. Everyone says that garbage collection is the hallmark of our society, but what they're really think is, well, that job positively stinks. Pun intended. In addition to having to deal with the constant reek, these hard-working men and women are required to work long hours, including early mornings and late nights. From what I've seen by far, there's not much incentive for young people to pursue that line of work.

5 Flight attendants. Now this is a vocation which sounds attractive, doesn't it? Flying to exotic islands, meeting new people and all that. Eeeeeek! You cannot be more off-base here. Contrary to your idea of what a blast it is, flight attendants have to deal with jet lag, high stress and fat, nervous passengers. Imagine how it feels to fly for 10 hours, having to satisfy every whim of the passengers for the better time of the flight. And because the market is shrinking, flight attendants always feel threatened by the new, much younger and good-looking girl. On the bright side, at least there's the possibility of hooking up with a well-endowed pilot, so at least they've got that going for them.

4 Broadcasters and news reporters. Now these folk take a lot of crap … from everyone. Nowadays there are less and less job opportunities for young, aspiring broadcasters, which means higher competition and a lot of stress. Apart from that, people seem to have lost their admiration for broadcasters.

3 Cleaners. Do you honestly think your maid has fun while cleaning your shit? No! It's nasty. I know a guy who told me they found chunks of dead cow on the roof of one unfortunate fellow. Don't ask me how it happen. I guess this is why roof and gutter inspection services exist in the first place. Seems like anything's possible in this crazy world of ours. Therefore, you always have to be prepared for the worse. Having in mind how sucky the job is, your cleaners don't get paid nearly enough. So don't be surprised if your cleaning lady has an attitude. Just thank God there are people who are willing to clean your filth for you, and move on.

2 Off-shore Oil Rig Workers. Picture this: a bunch of guys on a platform in the middle of the sea, hundreds of miles away from the nearest shores, with no woman to keep them warm at night, having to spend months together, doing hard labour. The only difference between this job and prison is that oil rig workers have to work their asses off. Which one would you choose? But if it's any consolation, at least rig workers get paid a ton of money.

1 Fire fighters. That's another vocation the beauty of which has been highly exaggerated. I blame modern TV for that. Riding on the back of the fire truck, saving lives, chicks drooling after you. Sounds good to me. Who am I kidding, that's THE life. But (yeah, there's always a 'but' somewhere in there) putting your life on the line everyday is indeed tense and nerve-racking.

Seeking how hard a hand some people got dealt made you feel better and smile, didn't it, you callous bastard, you! Yeah, me too. For some reason other people's misery makes my life almost tolerable.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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