Learning that bedbugs have been found in the subway, spoof reporter Gail Farrelly recently set out to get the skinny by interviewing a bedbug living in a Manhattan subway car. What follows are a few of Farrelly's questions and the bedbug's replies.
WHY LIVE IN THE SUBWAY? it's better than being homeless. And the convenience to citywide transportation is a plus.
FAVORITE SONG? Duke Ellington's "Take the A Train."
FAVORITE ACTIVITY? Munching on the neck of a commuter. Sometimes I bring along some catsup, hot sauce, or mustard to spice things up a bit.
ARE YOU IN A RELATIONSHIP? Good grief, no. I love playing the field. That's what gets me out of bed in the morning.
FAVORITE MOVIE? The 1958 science fiction horror film, "The Fly." Note I said the 1958 version, rather than the 1986 one. You see, I'm a big classic movie bug.
FUTURE PLANS? Along with a crowd of my buddies, I plan to take an around-the-world luxury cruise soon. That should shake up the cruise passengers quite a bit. (Laughs)