Written by Ace Ventura
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Sunday, 1 April 2007

J.K. Rowling author of the unusually popular Harry Potter series held a press conference in London to talk about the plot of Harry Potter and the Death Hole. The story centres around Harry Fucker-...Potter? are you sure? it says Fucker on my sheet...BILLY! IT'S NOT FUNNY I WILL KICK YOUR WHITE ASS! Harry POTTER and his friends Hermione Grazer-...Granger? no way but...BILLLY! Hermione GRANGER and Ron... wait is it Weiner? Weasley? BILLY COME HERE! *punch**kick**squeal* DO THAT AGAIN AND I'LL AIM BELOW THE BELT BILLY! Ron WEASLEY as the leave Hogholes School of Banging and Plowing...Hogwarts? Witchcraft? Wizardry? No way Perry you're lying. Oh you want me to check the website?....I'll be damned it is Hogwarts...BILLLLYYYY! *CRASH* *KICK* *KICK* *RIP* *SCREAM* I SWEAR TO GOD BILLY! hmmmm right after they leave school they return to the Dursucks's wait Perry? Dursley's ok wait a moment *Open Drawer* *Knife Sound* *Door Slam* *Knife in arm* *Door open* *Knife celaning sound* *Drawer open and slam* Harry Returns to the Dursley's with hsi freinds they stay there until he turns seventeen when they leave they travel to Godric's Hole where they-...Hollow? Is Billy in the ambulance yet? Damn well I'll get him later Godric's Hollow where they find teh ruins of the Potter Cottage nothing was ever cleaned up there still ash floating around Harry goes under the police tape and kicks some rubble moving aside a half burnt peice of paper he puts in his pocket and goes the graveyard which is conveniently next to house and a whole lot of shit happens cut to teh chase Harry bangs Hermione her HOLE is Death Harry Dies killing Voldemort beacuse of their speacial bond ok?
*Drawer open* *Gun click*

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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