Since his recent memory loss regarding his involvement with the firings of eight attorneys, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has been ordered to take an Alzheimer's test. Here are the results:
DOCTOR: What day is it?
GONZALES: March 31st
DOCTOR: What year is it?
DOCTOR: Who is the President?
GONZALES: Dick Cheney
DOCTOR: You will be asked later to remember these three words:
jump, suit, jelly
DOCTOR: Can you spell rail backwards?
DOCTOR: How many fingers am I holding up?
GONZALES: Just the one middle one
DOCTOR: What were the three words?
GONZALES: jump, suit, jelly
DOCTOR: Test over. You do not have Alzheimer's. Here is your prison jumpsuit and a tube of K-Y jelly. Say "hi" to Scooter for me.