Just when the world thought he was the most mysterious leader ever, North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un personally contacted basketball magazine Slam and offered to give them an in-depth interview.
Jumping at the chance, Slam Magazine arranged a personal interview to be conducted at Kim Jong-Un's favorite palace, with his pal Dennis Rodman as his interpreter.
With beloved basketball icon Bill Laimbeer asking the question, "Why have you decided to give an interview now, after three years of silence?"
"Well, I just hear all these crazy rumors such as I fed my uncle to the dogs and I felt I had to speak up and set the record straight. We would never do such a vile thing as feed a live person to dogs. Of course a dead person would be a different story. There is never any dog food since our dog food is so delicious the people eat it all themselves!" spoke the rotund dictator. Oh, by the way, if any of you know Michael Vix, please tell him my job offer of kennel warden feeding the dogs is still open."
"What are some of your hopes and aspirations for the future of the North Korean people?" was the next question.
"Well, my dream is for my people to throw off the yoke of poverty and become a prosperous people with enough money to build the statues and temples that they wish to build to honor the Kim dynasty. And if that's what my people want, statues and temples dedicated to me, then that's the same thing I want," spoke the merry little dwarf.
"If I didn't have such a huge responsibility to my people, I would chuck it all and go for the pros in basketball, where I feel my true abilities lie," said the portly dictator whose chief exercise is pushing himself away from the dinner table, which he actually rarely does. "If they hadn't promised me I could shoot off rockets and ride in submarines I never would have agreed to all this."
The interview ended as the odd looking dictator's security guard came up and informed the little despot that it was time for his tap dancing lesson.